twilightkeyblader

I have one green eye and one brown eye. The green eye sees truth, but the brown eye sees much, much more. It sees the future. Working together, the eyes cancel each other out: I see no more and no less than the average human being. But if one eye is closed or blinded, the other takes over, and the world twists into a new shape. When using my green eye, blues and purples stand out more; the area around people's mouths becomes sharply defined. Once this definition appears, all I need do is listen to their words. If they lie, their mouths crackle and pop – if they speak the truth, nothing happens. In the times when my brown eye is free, a

The Painfully Slow, Anti-climactic End of the World (and other miscellaneous mishaps) News stations across the good ol' US of A began to grimly forecast not just the weather, but a global catastrophe of epic proportions, based on a thousand year old prediction made back in 1999. They claimed that on January 1st, 3000, everyone's cell-phones would explode when sun entered a period of severe solar activity, causing the days of the week to rearrange themselves and destroying all rational, Gregorian order. Unfortunately, the warning was largely unnoticed, primarily because the media had descended into sensationalized gossip about innocent animal

He's apple juice, sweet and crisp and slick on raw lips, the taste in the back of his throat like swallowing sadness and crying for home. He's the sunset from the back of a pickup truck, the metal of a battered, rickety motorcycle pressed against the small of his back as the heat of the day bleeds away into the star-splattered atmosphere. He's chill winter breezes shivering against the back of his neck where his hair falls short. He's the tan from a life under the open skies of Iowa, running wild through the fields like the hellion that he is. He's a thousand towns visited: the faces blurred, the music wild and breaking and mad, the language

"Holy Santa in Tinsel Town, a new chapter just started," the Tin Woman remarked, glancing around nervously. "I could have sworn this story had died and gone to hell…" "Have we given up on that whole 'no breaking the fourth wall' thing? Because I've got some worldly comments that would do nicely," Scarecrow put in, not looking down from the forest's leafy roof. The Cowardly Lioness tapped away on her cell phone, giggling as she typed. "Heheh. Nuts." "Never mind, I think we're almost there. Quick meeting." Scarecrow stopped. "Oh, no. Is this going to be another meeting about how we have to do our work? We seem to be getting along easil

Day 1 Mood: Resigned Dear Diary, Staying in village today. Has been a very dusty summer – have been ordered by the captain to vacuum up the dust in the house, since if I have enough time to stare out the window and plan a sniper attack on the king, I have time to clean. Must find out how he discovered my plan. Suspect Rinaldi was behind this breach in my security. Have decided that plan to kill king is pointless anyway – his royal road-rage has him topping ninety miles an hour on a flat country road. Not even I'm that good a shot, and I'm the best ambulance driver in the world. It seems his regal shrieks of bloodlust and exhilara

How to Write a TAKS Essay (or, What I Wrote When I Should Have Been Working on My Argumentation Paper) --- Well, as that dreaded day rolls around YET AGAIN, we poor teenagers of Texas once again suffer the oppression, degradation, and sheer stupidity of the Texas Assessment of Knowledge and Skills. In nice, TAKS-level vocabulary, that means we get to sit in a classroom for hours doing something that will never ever in a million years never help us with anything. Ever. Insert sarcastic, witty comment here. I'm too lazy to do it myself. What I'm not too lazy to do is offer tips to those who can't quite seem to master the bane of the TAKS En

"You better let me go! I've got a crazy, violently sarcastic ninja for a friend!" Layne yelled at the top of her lungs, kicking wildly. Unfortunately, the burlap bag covering her head and messing up her hair also muffled the yell. "Are you listening to me?! Did I mention the Tin-woman?! She bends people into pretzels – in Spanish!!!" The young freshman was being carted roughly through the forest, being jostled viciously every time one of her captors had to jump over a protruding tree root. Every jolt made the bag shift and mess up her hair a little bit more, leading to louder yelling as her nerves frayed. Her kidnappers remained unnervi

"Agh! It feels like we've been listening to her for, like, ten days!" Layne gasped out, trying in vain to cover her ears. For some reason, every time her hands got close, they'd be flung away from her ears with amazing force. "AAAAGGH!" "Gjisonfdagbuwbt," was something to the effect of what the Scarecrow said in reply. Layne imagined that if the ninja had been in full possession of a stable mind, the comment would have been something worldly, profound, and completely incomprehensible. "And that's how Hollywood failures inspired me to become a physics teacher," the Physicsmonster finished at last. Suddenly, the three writhing in agony on the

In a frightening, dark, ominous castle several miles away (it just works so well the author can't be bothered to write a new into), the Winkie Klan Underground was hosting a clandestine meeting in the Foyer of Gruel. The first meeting of the WKU had attracted a large host of Winkies, all drawn in by promises of free pizza and soda. After they learned the WKU was not a new music station – rather, a secret group dedicated to undermining the authority of the Wicked Witch of the West – the vast majority of the Winkies had left. Instead of a massive conspiracy of thousands of oppressed souls, Winkie Captain Kristine found herself dealing